Saturday, August 8, 2009

Legalism, Relationship, Prayer

I have been reading 1 Timothy and studying with a group of women near my home. This week I have really been struck by the thought that legalism (or following any set of rules) just doesn't cut it. The only way to live in the center of God's will seems to be to ask him about it. I want to be better about praying, I want to treat God as a friend and remember to tell him all and talk to him about everything, but I am constantly failing in that area of my life. Right now this scares me more than it ever has before in my life, not just because of how it affects me, but because of how it affects my baby girl. My toddler wants to be just like me, she imitates my every move and I know that things I say and do every day are what she is learning every day. Now to compound matters we are getting into the days where she is starting to understand what I want her to do and does not always chose to do those things and suddenly I realized with my study that even though I can train her and discipline her and teach her the right way to act that isn't enough. I MUST be praying for the attitudes of her heart, I MUST be praying that her heart is moldable, and most of all I MUST be praying that she is leaning on and trusting in Jesus and that he will direct her paths! Whoa! Talk about conviction. Luckily this week I was also reminded of another verse. James 4:8 "come near to God and he will come near to you..." So this week my prayer is Lord, draw me near to you and Lord allow my girl to see you in me. Draw her, teach her, mold her. Do not let me be her stumbling block.